Pickpocket
"Isn’t it boring being on an all vegetable diet?"

veganprobs:

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you tell me

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

dirtylittledamsel:

this is literally mario kart
luaren:

every girl in the universal regardless of ethnic background, class, sexuality, etc knows the universal mating call of the straight male

obscurebourgeoisie:

don’t buy colgate whitening toothpaste

it says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days

15 days have come and gone

and i am still asian

kansass:

lets play a game called are u bad at texting back or do u hate me

When you argue with someone and they keep on repeating the same point
creamy-cum:

ya-boy-levi:

That awkward moment when you can’t draw a good face to match your eyes

too often omg

gestured:

there’s this thing u should try it’s called stop ignoring me

On Thursday and Friday, cupid might be nearby, and it’s possible you’ll meet someone who captures your heart. Prepare for that arrow.

justthedesign:

Just The Design By Dirk Cousaert

airoe:

regigigas-fils-aime:

I AM 1,000% ALL ABOUT FARM MEMES

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